Aesop: Androcles and the Lion

Share your child's writing project here. Let us know if you would like feedback..

Aesop: Androcles and the Lion

Postby pata » Wed Jun 30, 2010 9:37 pm

I just want to make sure that we are on the right track as writing (really all language arts) is not my strong point. So, please give me feedback :). We did writing project 1 with her narrating her project (day 2) to me after discussing the story using the questions in the Core (day 1). Then she typed out her rough draft on her own (day 2). After the editing changes (day 3), she dictated her final draft to me, which I typed up for her (day 4).

Here's her rough draft...
Andricles escaped from his master and to the forest.He found a lion and turned to run away.The lion was lying because there was a thorn in his paw. He held out his paw and Androcle fixed it.The lion gave Androcles stuff to eat.They got captured and Emperor and all his court came to see the spectacle.Androcles was led into the middle of the arena and the lion was let loose and the lion recognized Androcles.And the lion was set loose.
Moral:Help each other.


Here's her final project...
Androcles escaped from his master into the forest. He found a lion and turned to run away. The lion was lying down because there was a thorn in his paw. He held out his paw and Androcles fixed it. Then the lion gave Androcles stuff to eat. They got captured. The Emperor ordered Androcles to be fed to the lion. Andorcles was led into the middle of the arena. The lion was let loose. The lion recognized Androcles and he didn’t eat him. The lion was set loose into the forest and Androcles was pardoned. Moral: Help each other.

My main question are..
-Are we making the necessary corrections in the rough draft or am I missing something?
-I am trying not to give my own suggestions on how to change it (excluding mechanics), so the content changes are all what she thinks will make her project sound better. Is this what we are to be doing?
-Is the final project on par with a typical 8 yo girl doing this program with no previous writing experience? We have done narrations/copywork in the past, but no structured writing projects until now.
-Finally, am I understanding the writing process for the Aesop correctly? I plan on moving her towards more independent writing/editing as we go further along. I also plan to move towards outlining the story instead of discussing it.
Paige
using CW Aesop with 9yo dd
pata
 
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed Jun 30, 2010 9:17 pm

Re: Aesop: Androcles and the Lion

Postby Lene » Fri Jul 02, 2010 10:03 am

Yes, I think what you are doing is the right approach.

You are teaching her to hear the passages that need changing, so you ask questions rather than just tell her what to do. There would be a time to tell her what to do if she simply cannot hear or see it, but those would be more of a right/wrong grammatical nature, or when you have issues with incoherent content.

Good work,

Lene
Lene
 

Re: Aesop: Androcles and the Lion

Postby pata » Sat Jul 03, 2010 2:23 am

Thanks Lene! Good to know that we are on the right track. We are really enjoying CW Aesop so far, you've done a great job and we look forward to continuing on through all the CW programs.
Paige
using CW Aesop with 9yo dd
pata
 
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed Jun 30, 2010 9:17 pm


Return to Share Your Child's Writing Project

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron